She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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