I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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