ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
dude. I can hear the air.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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