Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
