I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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