Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
they're like a gay fantastic four
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
