ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
