I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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