If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
