you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
