either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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