You work out of a Hotel?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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