i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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