found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
