Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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