I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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