I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
