There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
