M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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