Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
