Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Welp...herpes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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