You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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