Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
