you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there is glitter all over my balls
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
