Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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