wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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