You just made me feel so damn special
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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