Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
