So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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