bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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