At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
