One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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