Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
