adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
