oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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