You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
