Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
