I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
