i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
