girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
