YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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