Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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