D3 body, D1 cock
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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