Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
