i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
