Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize