What a fucking waste of an outfit
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want a musical about memes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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