I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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