True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
