I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
