dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
