why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize