16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize