I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
