i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
