help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize