Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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