I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
