dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
