You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
