Do you still have your period?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
