Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
