Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize