i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
