apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
