I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize