"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
