he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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